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The idea of men and women being platonic friends is one that’s been going around for a long time with no definite answer. The majority of the people saying that they can be friends with the opposite sex are women, and to y’all credit, I’m glad you think it’s possible. Most guys on the other hand are not really feeling being friends with a woman and I’m one of them. I would not know you than hide the fact I want to bone day in and day out; that mess is tiring to conceal and hell on the Johnson.
There are ways to get around the obvious sexual overtone that exists between our penis and you and I feel like it’s my duty to explain for the women readers how to REALLY be a straight up friend with a guy without having to worry if he, deep down, wants to give you the business. Follow these steps and that guy who hangs around to watch movies and eat popcorn will either still be there or is forced to come true with his feelings once and for all. Attention whores need not apply as y’all gonna sit there anyway screaming foul because you like having a walking, talking, third-leg carrying ego boost.
Stop being so damn attractive for a calendar week.
Women are notorious for their love of being beautiful. God made y’all that way so I can understand why you take so long as you do to get yourself right. The problem is when you’re a guy in a traditional friendship with a great looking woman the admiration gets passed down from the big brain to the little brain and that admiration turns to thoughts of sex. In order to see if the guy you’re so buddy buddy with really wants a piece of the action, skip dolling yourself up every time he comes over.
Some of y’all are naturally pretty so you have to take it a step further—go all out boogerwolf on him on purpose. I mean, look as though you just woke up for a period, generally seven days is enough, long enough that he will begin to forget what the gorgeous you looks like and start wondering if it was all because of the makeup.
Make your dwelling look like sh*t.
This one goes hand in hand with not being attractive for a calendar week. If you entertain your broski at your pad, go ahead and filth that joint up a little bit for his benefit. Guys don’t generally care about the condition of their place when another guy friend comes over; he’s there to kick it with his homie not ponder over the minute differences of color in throw pillows.
It’s a place to eat, sleep, bang and crap at and nothing more (that is if he isn’t touched by ‘the sweetness’). Women, on the other hand, decorate wildly different than the typical male and with that comes an expected appreciation. Remember the admiration taking the elevator to the nether regions? It’s the same thing except we’re more concerned with bending you over that $3,000 Italian marble leather couch than looking in awe at it. Put some issues of Maxim on your coffee table right underneath an open box of Tampax. I guarantee his attention will go to them and decidedly away from you. Friends who bleed are not friends we creep.
Use the psychology of relationships to sever the sexual connection.
Guys just want the tail from women we can get it from. Being completely and openly honest with you ladies, we don’t care in the slightest for building a loving and trusting relationship with you. We didn’t before, we don’t now and we won’t in the future. The only reason why we say we love being in love or being in a committed relationship is because answers like that are critical to us getting more sex (a topic I’ll expound upon in a future G-Code).
If your chum is all up your bum start dropping hints of what it would be like in a relationship with you. The key here is to make it sound painful by stating the three things every man hates about a relationship: he has to be all in, you’re a jealous/crazy/overbearing lover and you won’t have sex without being in a relationship first.
Now, none of these will affect the Super Simp-io Brothers who can’t separate what their dick wants from what society has embedded in their heart but for guys with options for ass outside of their immediate circle, this will all but kill anything but the passing interest in what your eyes look like after a stout rogering (shouts to my London connects for the slang). Contrary to Hollywood your cooterbox is not so golden we want to run through the minefield to get to it; there’s less of a war going on outside.
Instigate you being his wing-woman.
Finally, this is the one you should roll with if your cute game is above par. You can take your homeboy’s mind off your booty by helping him get equal to or better. It’s not even that hard, really. When he goes out, go with him and instead of looking like girlfriend, be proactive in pulling tail towards him. You know him best so accentuate his game. Pull girls over that you know he likes and talk him up on the way over. Ease the mind of the gazelle into a liquefied state for the lion and the proverbial mouse can run alongside him forever without ever turning prey.
Men appreciate a good teammate more than anything else and that you’re not an extra hard leg that may potentially go home with something he wants makes it even better for him. I should clarify that it doesn’t really matter if you’re a lesbian and he knows it. If you have discerning qualities about you, a natural cool that makes a guy want to hang with you, there’s a good chance he still would give you the bone.
I know from experience. By you becoming an extension of his game, you are free from his gaze a little longer, almost in a Silver Surfer/Galactus kind of way (Wiki the comic book Silver Surfer and you’ll absolutely understand). At the end of this exercise you will have either A. run him the eff off or B. untucked his cape for the entire world to see (and in my circle laugh at). There cannot be a pure friendship between men and women because there are penises and vaginas between them already that cloud both the space and the mind.
Feel free to bombard the comment section with pro/anti whateverisms you might have and let me know (as the only male voice that really matters) what other male/female propaganda you would like me to debunk because trust, I’m on my job family!